SCOTT BROWN, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

MSNBC anchor, liberal-minded Rachel Maddow, put a full-page ad in today’s Boston Globe pointing the finger at republican Massachusetts senator, Scott Brown, for the lie printed in a fund-raising letter he sent to potential donors. The letter stated that Maddow will be the democratic candidate running against him in the 2012 senate race—presumably to prompt those who foam at the mouth at the mere mention of Maddow’s name to dig deeply into their pockets.

The ad begins with: “Hi, I’m Rachel Maddow. I host a TV show on MSNBC. I also live in Western Massachusetts, in the beautiful hilltowns of Hampshire County.”

The third paragraph delivers the not-so-startling truth: “I’m not running against Scott Brown. I never said I was running against Scott Brown. The Massachusetts Democratic Party never asked me to run against Scott Brown. It’s just not true. Honestly. I swear. No, really.”

You know what this whole affair reminds me of? A Hans Christian Andersen fairytale called “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.

Wikipedia says it’s about an Emperor who doesn’t care for anything but his wardrobe. He “hires two weavers who promise him the finest suit of clothes from a fabric invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or ‘just hopelessly stupid’. The Emperor cannot see the cloth himself, but pretends that he can for fear of appearing unfit for his position or stupid; his ministers do the same. When the swindlers report that the suit is finished, they dress him in mime and the Emperor then marches in procession before his subjects. A child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others. The Emperor cringes, suspecting the assertion is true, but holds himself up proudly and continues the procession.”

Let me remind you how Scott Brown initially entered the public arena:

He posed for a centerfold in the June 1982 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine after winning its “America’s Sexiest Man” contest.

Now, here we are 28 years later, and the guy still has no clothes on. Lots of people are telling him he has clothes on, but the one plucky gal whom he ‘invited to the parade’—a gal who is known for telling things like they are—just let everybody know he’s naked. He’s aware that he is, but he still won’t come out and admit it.

So, all you potential funders of Scott Brown’s 2012 senate run. Forget the check—just send the guy some clothes. Preferably, an outfit along the lines of what an emperor might wear in the fall, in Massachusetts.

I think these ensembles from the Burberry Prorsum Fall 2010 collection would suit a politician trying to hold on to office and project some pomp,

as would this attention-grabbing overcoat from Duckie Brown—

or these snazzy Paul Smith duds with their touches of regal purple. I like the wide, dark lapels.

Brown will need something that’s a step up from a leather motorcycle jacket. This is not appropriate attire for stumping or leading—despite the fact that another Republican, Sarah Palin, saw fit to wear one today while supporting her old buddy in Arizona. Jesse James is very fresh in people’s minds; how sad would it be for Brown if they started confusing him with this other often naked man.