WHAT MICHAEL STEELE, JUSTICE STEVENS, AND JESSE JAMES HAVE IN COMMON

April 10, 2010

Last week’s headlines were dominated by Michael Steele, Justice Stevens, and Jesse James.  Lest you think that the only thing these men from the political, judicial, and motorcycle repair realms have in common is the media’s glaring spotlight, I’m here to set you straight.

So, what links them?

For one thing—strip clubs.

Steele allowed (perhaps by looking the other way) members of the Republican National Committee, which he chairs, to spend $2000 at Voyeur West in Hollywood.

Jesse James allegedly frequented the San Diego strip club where first mistress-to-come-forward, Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee, worked.

And Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens gave key support to strip clubs by granting a legal stay that allowed justices to consider the constitutionality of New York City’s 1998 adult entertainment crackdown (much to Giuliani’s chagrin). Even though the adult industry lost their case, in appreciation of the Justice’s support, the Scores strip club renamed its Champagne Room the John Paul Stevens Room.

But there’s another thing these fellas have in common: Seats that are hanging in the balance.

Michael Steele is being asked by some to give up the chair of the Republican Party. Justice Stevens is giving up the bench. And, though Jesse James hasn’t lost a chair or a bench, he might be realizing that it’s time to stop doing things by the seat of his pants.

It seems to me all three of them need a new perch for the phase ahead.

So, Michael Steele, though you claim to have never used Republican dollars in unseemly ways—unlike those who sat in this chair at Voyeur West—

something tells me you’d feel right at home in “The Gothic Chair” from National Upholstering Company; it’s derived from the decor of Parisian 1930s cafes and night spots.

Or maybe you’d prefer something more colorful, like the “Bergere Valliere” from James Duncan Collections.

And, Justice Stevens, you deserve to relax on a bench offering more personality and comfort than the staid one you’ve occupied for the last 34 years. How about “The Lynxx Bench” from Powell & Bonnell?

or the “Penn Bench” from Kristin Drohan,

or the “Lido Bench” from Ironies.

As for you, Jesse James—the “Living Chair by Vladimir Tsesler seems like a good fit.

It’s more demure than your typical roost—and much better for rehab than that ratty office sofa of yours.

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